After setting the intention to go with the flow, what's becoming clear is that I don't hate my job. It's simply that I am no longer inspired by it.
I have been in sales since I graduated from college in 1987 (okay, yes, I did just give up my age.) And I am, quite honestly, over having a sales quota to meet and forecast meetings to attend and annual sales conferences that rehash Sales 101 skills.
It's reaching a point where I feel that I am abandoning my relationship with myself. And I love who I am and who I am becoming. Why, then, would I continue to live small and uninspired?
Well, there is definitely the fear of the unknown rearing its head. Also, I have rent to pay and food to buy. My 20-year-old daughter lives at home while working part-time and going to school so I can't just quit my job and leave these responsibilities. My husband, bless him, would love to support me financially while I go through this discovery, however, we live in California and clearly pay a price to live here.
Since praying about this a few weeks ago, I haven't seen any major shifts and I also wonder when Divine Intelligence is going to show up. I wonder, sometimes, if I've missed a clue or a sign. Have I missed my window of opportunity? Dear Spirit, forget the still, small voice. I'm ready for a big, clear sign that I can easily understand. Bring it on!
Maybe the question I should be asking the Universe is what am I willing to risk to start making changes in my livelihood? Or, is this about me recognizing there is something inside me who wants to hide in what's comfortable?
Right now, I have more questions than answers. I do believe that everything happens in perfect Divine timing so maybe the timing is not quite right to support my highest and best outcome.
This practice to know my higher self is almost like peeling an onion, revealing one layer at a time to discover emotions, beliefs, and ideas that my subconscious is holding onto for the survival of my ego. It is requiring great patience, trust and persistence - and prayer.
For this reason, I'm glad that I have found affirmative prayer (or what Ernest Holmes calls Spiritual Mind Treatment) to use in my tool kit. According to Ernest, we use prayer (or treatments) to align with Divine Intelligence. In the book, "It's Up To You", a treatment is "the conscious act, through meditation and contemplation, of definitely accepting the presence of a good which the objective world cannot see, back of which is the belief that we are surrounded by a Creativeness or a Law which intelligently responds to us. It is not a beseechment, because it rests upon the belief that the Universe already desires to do this, and must, because that is Its true nature."
I trust the Universe will respond to my prayer because it must, however, it is not up to me to set the deadline. My work is to get clear, to believe and to accept what is. And, some days that work is more difficult than others, especially when I don't see immediate results.
So, today, I set the intention to find inspiration in one thing every day for 21 days, no matter how insignificant, so I can stay open to the possibilities for my life.
There is One Divine Intelligence, One Source of all energy and creation that makes clear the path for all that is. It is fluid and flows effortlessly with a power that is unseen but a presence that is felt strongly. I am one with the Infinite, part of this Power that I call God, who dwells within me and each of us who are on this journey together.
Affirming there is a Divine plan for my life, I lean into the unknown with joy. I am transformed and inspired by a vision for my life, even when the way is not clear. Every day, I seek inspiration in creation and I am made new and whole, even when life moves slowly and it seems no action is happening. I need only believe and trust in Spirit's perfect timing, taking the steps in the here and now that move me toward my life purpose. Everywhere I see opportunity in the world I live in, moving from thought into form and it is real and it is wonderful.
I am so grateful for the creative Power that allows me to realize my Soul's purpose. I am thankful that I can co-create my life in perfect Divine ways, knowing they will show up when the timing is perfect for all who will benefit. Thank you, God, for the knowing that I need only look within to see the answers.
I release my Word to the Divine action of the Law, to the Creativeness of Source, knowing my thoughts and feelings never return to me void but shower me in beautiful possibilities. And I let it be so. And so it is. Amen.