If I had money, I could have gone to a better school, could have formed my own business, could have travelled the world, could have a Mercedes. What am I trying so badly to capture?
It is true that having money does allow me to do the things I desire and I always feel less stressed when my bank account balance is in good shape. But, am I really missing anything by not living in a rich man's world?
There has definitely been a lack consciousness that I have carried around with me, likely picked up somewhere growing up as a child of always having "just enough" money. We had just enough for fairly healthy food, just enough for decent clothes although nothing designer, and just enough to vacation occasionally.
OR, maybe it's a feeling of not being worthy of having more than enough money in my life. Who am I to deserve a life of opulence and abundance?
Then again, it could be tied to my lack of generosity. I've tried to share the little wealth that I did have but again, feelings of lack have prevented me from being as giving as I have been called to be sometimes.
It strikes me that just by noticing these thoughts and feelings, I can start to acknowledge them and release them. And, pushing myself even further, I can bless any people or circumstances that I have been blaming during my "could have been" rants.
As Marianne Williamson says in "The Law of Divine Compensation", the Universe is self-organizing and self-correcting. The Universe has a way to make sure I get whatever I may have been pushing away through my blaming because my heart is closed. When I open my heart by blessing those I have blamed, the Universe finds another way to give to me because it has been held in trust for me this entire time. It's all there - I just need to be able to receive - and God is ready to give.
Understanding this truth for the first time, I am ready to flourish and that will mean recognizing and changing what I have been telling myself about what I can or cannot be or do around money. That is the key. I've had it all along and have not been willing to use it.
It's funny - today, a commercial for the new Audi R8 came on and it was $999/month for the lease. *gulp* I commented to my husband that it was just under $1000/month for the car of my dreams. He replied that if you think about it, his 2013 Honda Accord is just under $500/month and he easily makes the payments. Maybe my dream car is a possibility when you reframe how I look at it and at money.
So, today I am going to fully embody and embrace the rich person that I am. Not only financially but I am rich in love, in health, in family, in friends. As I look for the evidence of my wealth and prosperity, I notice that it just keeps getting better! I have so much to share and it feels good.
Okay, bring on the Audi R8 - I'm ready Universe!!
In this moment is a breath. In this moment is a heartbeat. In this moment is light from the sun shine, warm and bright and life-giving. It is all Divine and I am one with the Creator of every breath and heartbeat and ray of sunshine. I am enfolded by peace as I am guided and cared for by a love that flows through and as me.
As I embrace and lean into this Power that I call God, I release any unrest and anxiety I hold around money. I affirm the richness of my life, declaring it and knowing it fully expressed in every way possible. The energy that is money moves and I am a vehicle for circulation. More and more I am trusted with financial abundance as I share the generous prosperity I have been blessed with. I rest in the knowing of the wealth of my relationships, of my health and of my community, savoring the feelings of expansion and expression that this wealth has provided for.
And I pause in this feeling of great gratitude for the connection with my Divinity, thankful that I am never separate from God, the always in-dwelling Spirit that lifts me up to new heights. Thank you, God, that I am rich and thank you, God, that I know my worthiness. It all belongs to you and I am here to share my gifts and talents, tithing in perfect ways for me. It is okay to have money and it is safe to have money and I am grateful for this knowing.
Releasing my word to the Law, I again say Thank You, knowing it is already done in the Universal Mind. The breathing continues and the heart beats and sun shines and I let it be so. And so it is!