I never notice any drama as I first get to know someone and start spending time with them. I suppose I'm more focused on the things we have in common and the fun I have with someone who sees things from a different perspective.
After a while though, it seems that those similar qualities we share cause me to almost compete as the new friendship develops.
They mention they know someone whose charismatic and fairly high up in an organization and I start to shamelessly name-drop.
They talk about a favorite trip to some absolutely stunning place and I rattle off the places I've been fortunate to visit.
And, after about 6 months or so, our friendship has reached a place where they are having a major life crisis; a love relationship break-down that is never their fault and we have to re-hash every horrible thing their lover has done OR a financial catastrophe where it is over the top suffering and crying and wailing with very little constructive talk happening OR calls and texts at all hours and if I don't respond right away, I'm the bad person and must not like them anymore.
It can be such a complete switch in our relationship, going from ME trying to one-up THEM to THEM having one crisis after another. So, if relationships are a mirror, does my trying to compete reveal the internal drama I need to resolve? Is it a peek into my relationship with myself?
Doing some soul-searching, I can see that my push to compete comes from me needing to feel worthy enough of this friendship. And, from this consciousness of unworthiness, it seems I am attracting drama, attracting people who feel even more unworthy than me and who express it in very vocal and visible ways.
It's a fascinating insight and shows me what I believe subconsciously as far as my relationship with myself. I believe that I love myself but maybe I need to FEEL it more. I believe that I trust myself but maybe I need to FEEL it more. Feelings seem trump everything.
This is my opportunity to do the work. I can do better at loving myself. And, from there, I can attract more loving relationships; true friendships that are less about drama and more about connecting, soul to soul.
So, what do YOU see in the mirror when you look at your relationships?
Today, I set the intention to nurture and support and be honest with myself, knowing that as I feel love for myself, that love is reflected back to me in my relationships.
"It is nice to have money when you need it, nice to be free from pain, but it is more
wonderful to have no fear and no uncertainty and have confidence in the
Universe and love for each other and a depth of feeling that will not be disturbed."
"We are the means by which the earth becomes heaven."
There is a brilliance in this moment; a vibrancy that can only be Spirit, delighting in life - spectacular, amazing, jubilant. This Divine Presence that delights in life also delights in me; expressing as me, working through me, opening windows and doors that allow my light to shine brightly and beautifully.
Opening up to the Power of Grace, I surrender and let my life flow with ease. I am willing to see the best in myself and let that be reflected back to me in all of my relationships. I keep an open mind and an open heart, having patience and compassion through the process of mastering my life. I am in control of what I choose to feel and I choose to see that life is so good. Love points the way and I live from the knowing that I am free to let go of competing and to cooperate so that my highest and best is revealed. My days are transformed as I see that through all situations and circumstances, I can delight in the evolution of my soul.
Welcoming the joy and happiness that are my divine birthright, I am filled with gratitude as I see the best in everyone. I am thankful that I am guided and protected as I make new choices in friends based on the new choices within me. And I am grateful that the lightness in my heart allows me to unconditionally accept myself as I nurture my growth and transformation.
From a deep place of peace, I release my word to the Divine Action of the Law, knowing it is done and made manifest in perfect ways. My life overflows with good. And I let it be so. And so it is.
Photo courtesy of Justin Kern/Flickr