Granted, she's going to school and working pretty close to 30 hours a week but it's been a challenge to set boundaries in a way that she understands. It's difficult to get her to do her dishes, she's not super happy with her job so she complains about it and when either Kevin or I make a suggestion about helping around the house, she gets moody.
And, when it reaches a point where I push back, I sometimes feel guilty. Wait, what? Yep, I feel guilty.
I feel guilty when I try to get in-between both my husband and my daughter and neither ends up happy.
I feel guilty that I'm praying for her to move out on her own, sooner rather than later.
I feel guilty, and mad at myself, when I continue to do things like wash her laundry or clean up after her.
So, if I want to break this cycle, it's time for me to go deeper down the rabbit hole and look at some core issues that I might be holding on to. Am I living life like my mother or father? Am I repeating their bad habits that I learned while growing up? Am I caving in to society's rules and standards for how I should be handling this situation?
As I sit with those questions, I was reminded recently that at any given moment, I can choose to accept or reject something in my life. As I process how I have been in the past and how my upbringing is influencing my current decisions, the question I should be asking is "Who does this belong to?"
Who does this guilt belong to? Who does this frustration belong to? Who does this anger belong to?
The energy contained in those feelings is pretty powerful but I can create a shift in my perspective. How? By answering those questions with a statement: This does not belong to me!
It will definitely require some mindfulness but when I start to feel that I'm sacrificing my time for her lazy habits and I'm stewing in the feelings that bubble up, I simply state, "this does not belong to me." And when I start to feel exhausted by her demands on my time and go down the path of complaining, I once again declare, "this does not belong to me."
It takes a few minutes but there is a definite shift that is happening. I have started tuning into my needs and stopped feeling guilty that I even have those needs in the first place. Of course I have my own needs - and my needs are VALID.
Although I am a mother and I cherish that role, that role does not define me. I am MORE than just a mother. I am a unique, Divine expression of Spirit and I get to choose how I travel my path. That means I am free to strike a balance between the role of mother and any other role I decide to embrace.
So, my inner child will have to wait to have that tantrum (or drop that mentality altogether). I am turning my energy around and consciously creating moments where love and peace and happiness become my go-to emotions.
So, what areas of YOUR life are you bringing in energy that doesn't belong to you? And what actions do you take to manage those emotions?
Today, I set the intention to release any energy that does not belong to me and accept the well-being that is the core of who I am.
"Anyone and anything can challenge you. It will not overtake you until you surrender.
Only you can determine what you do and how you respond in a situation."
"One needs to seek a sense of the perfection of the Divine Presence and to substitute
this knowing for ideas of disease, poverty or discord. In doing this he must often
confront negative thoughts with the declaration that there is no necessity for
the continuance of a condition contrary to fundamental Good."
In the stillness of this moment, there is a Divine Power, a Divine Presence, that renews and rejuvenates each minute with peace, with grace, with unconditional love. It is a Universal Intelligence that reveals clarity in each situation and wisdom heard above the noise of everyday life.
Becoming comfortable with the silence, I hear beyond the noise and connect with this Power and Presence that resides within. I see beyond the surface and tune into the Intelligence that guides and sustains and surrounds me. My entire being is filled with peace and I relax into this day and surrender to the perfection of this moment now.
Seeing through the fresh eyes of Spirit, I am equipped with everything I need right now to live a fulfilling and magnificent life. I release any energy that does not belong to me and I welcome the energy of vitality and enthusiasm that fills my soul. I affirm that I am a powerful being and that anything is possible as I embrace the constant and consistent love of the Universe, of God, of Source Energy. My time is now and I walk through the door to claim my destiny, knowing that each day greets me with opportunities to leap into greatness.
For all of this and more, I am grateful. I give thanks for the unfolding of possibility in my life and I celebrate with gratitude for the brilliance of the Universe that expresses through me. I am filled with thanksgiving for the abundance and love that flows in my direction as I remain open at the top to the guidance of the Divine.
Returning to the stillness and silence, I release my word to the Divine Action of the Law, knowing it is already done. My life is filled with miracles and magic. And I let it be so. And so it is!
Photo courtesy of Sascha Kohlmann/Flickr