Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Don't Over-Complicate Forgiveness

It can be a difficult conversation to have.  The one with yourself, that is.  Why have I held on to this grudge for so long?  Why is it so hard to forgive?

There are days when what I'm thinking just doesn't make me feel good.  And I realize it might be time to let go of that long-held grudge that's bringing me down.  But it's not always as easy as simply changing my thoughts to better ones to make me feel good.

I certainly don't want to re-hash the issue with the person I'm resentful of but I do feel I need to have a conversation in order to let go of it.  I liken it to de-cluttering my home from things that have been collecting dust - I need to de-clutter my thoughts.

So, what works for me?  I sit down and write (or type) a letter to myself that lets me explore what  it is I'm thinking that is making me feel bad.

And - I don't make it too complicated.  I simply let it be a free-flow of words or sentences that come to mind as I'm opening up to what I'm holding inside.

So here's a recent issue that I noticed.  I have held on to feelings of resentment against my sister for being the young, cute one that always got what she wanted.  How it shows up for me is that, when I hear of a success she's had, my go-to feeling is jealousy.

Because I really do love my sister, I turn this feeling back towards ME and start to feel guilty that I'm jealous.  Boy, does that bother me.  Because - then I just stew in the back-and-forth emotions.

So, I put pen to paper and started to write:

"It's so crazy that I feel jealous of my sister, especially when she's always so encouraging toward me.  Why do I do that?  Well, I always had to give her my toys when we were young.  And everyone commented on how cute she always looked.  Even in high school, the boys were always chasing her. 

Whoa, is that why I feel jealous?   I never lacked for anything growing up and I had lots of friends too.  In fact, I made the cheer team in high school and I won lots of awards for playing the flute.  I've had a lot in my life that I've loved to do and really enjoyed.  

It's okay that I wasn't cuter than her.  And it's okay that she was always thinner than me.  We are both doing the best we can with what he have."

I keep it simple and short.  And - I may not have gotten to the very root of why I feel jealous with that one letter, but I'm getting closer.

I'm forgiving MYSELF and that's one more step forward to uncovering something that might be holding me back from living the life that is calling my name.

What works for you when you need to have a difficult conversation?  Have you ever checked in with YOU?

Today, I set the intention to remember that forgiveness comes when I can let go of thoughts that make me feel bad.

"Just like gravity or light, beauty is seen as a force that exists everywhere, always.  
From this perspective, our job is less about creating beauty and 
more about seeking it out and recognizing the beauty that already exists in all things."  

"When we allow ourselves to take a breath and tune inwards rather than
 be controlled by external forces, we stop battling with life."  

Affirmative Prayer:
Opening to the truth that there is only One Life, there is a magnificence to this moment.  The all-good of the Infinite Life is masterful and powerful, overflowing with abundance and prosperity that is revealed in wondrous ways.

Accepting that I am one with Infinite Source, my words are the words of Spirit moving through me.  My actions are the actions of the Divine Love that I call God, expressing as me.  I come into alignment with the knowing that I am an avenue of untold blessings for others and for myself.

Letting go of any jealousy that has gotten in the way of the truth that I am born of great things, I gratefully receive the gifts of the Universe.  Life is always offering Itself up as an experience of grace and harmony and I see clearly my role in every new situation.  I see the potential in every situation for forgiveness and compassion.  With faith, I easily step into being more, beyond what my mind can fathom, trusting that I am guided in all that I do.  I affirm that my thoughts are creating a life where I have more than enough and I open my heart to knowing that something big is seeking to emerge when I simply allow it to.

I give thanks for the blessings that seemingly fall from the sky onto my path.  I am profoundly grateful for the ability to see things in a new way so that I no longer struggle but open to the ease and grace of life.  Thank you, Spirit, for everything that is unfolding in perfect, Divine timing - life is so good!

From this place of good, I release my Word to the Law that moves this into form in bold and beautiful ways. My life is blessed with abundance and prosperity.  And I let it be so.  And so it is.

Photo courtesy of Eternal Sunshine/Flickr