Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Getting To The Root Of Forgiveness

I have done quite a bit of work on myself around forgiveness.   I have forgiven others for events and situations and it is a growing skill that I am becoming comfortable with. But - I also have a strong need within to be forgiven by others that I feel have wronged.

I am moved by stories that I hear of forgiveness - a mother forgiving a man for killing her child, a soldier forgiven for the attacks on a village that killed a countless number of people.   It seems so easy when I read about it but where does my need for absolution come from?  And why do I not just accept forgiveness when it is offered?

It is a battle within that I am fighting.  I really, really, really want to be forgiven but I don't let it go once it is given to me.   It almost feels as if I have been programmed that I am not worthy of forgiveness.  And yet, if I can forgive others, why would I not be willing to give someone else that same gift of allowing their apology?  Of accepting it and moving on?

For me, I believe it means I would really have to own the fact that I was inconsiderate or selfish.  I don't WANT to believe that about me, however, I am a spiritual being having a human existence.  Being human, it is inevitable that things will get messy in my life.   And, without the messy parts of life, how will I really grow into all that I am meant to be?

So - now I get to the root of forgiveness.  Reading Colin Tipping's Radical Forgiveness, he does a great job of explaining that there is actually a Divine purpose being served in ALL of my actions.  I need to open myself up to see that no one is a victim - it is for everyone's highest and best good.

And, not only did my actions serve a Divine purpose, I actually attracted them so I could heal it!

Knowing that I attracted it doesn't make it easier to heal but it does give me a starting place to realize I am worthy of forgiveness.  On top of that, I can forgive myself without the need for an actual apology from the other person.

My strong need for forgiveness is my soul's cry to heal.  My ego sends me on a guilt trip and my soul is screaming at me NOT to pack those bags.  My soul is reminding me that we are all One.   What I see in another is also what exists within me.  If I can see the perfection in them, then I am also perfect and I am DESERVING of forgiveness.

So, I peel back another layer in my understanding of who I truly am.   I may have to revisit certain issues as they get triggered but I realize that it's okay.  I can start to love myself through these issues and let the layers fall away as I accept myself exactly as I am, right here, right now.

From this place of love, I set the intention for today to embrace the person I am now, having faith that everything in my life serves a Divine purpose.

"You have earned the right to be exactly where you are.  With all that you 
have been through, have been challenged by, have confronted and 
overcome, you have earned the right to live with this, to make it through 
this, overcome this and benefit from the divine opportunity that now stands 
before you.  Everything that lies before you is a divine opportunity."  
~Iyanla Vanzant

Rather than cursing the past, bless it and forgive yourself entirely.  When 
you know that all of those experiences were a part of the divine design of 
your life, you can afford to forgive."  
~Dr. Wayne Dyer

Affirmative Prayer:
In this moment - in this breath - Divine Guidance and Divine Wisdom effortlessly weaves Its way into Life.  Just as electricity sparks the lightbulb, Divine Love shines and illuminates.  As lightening lights the sky and thunder rolls in a storm, Divine Grace overflows with strength and with purpose.

Leaning into this place of Spirit, the Power and Presence of the Universe surrounds me and moves through me.  It is a life force growing and multiplying all that is good and all that is blessed as I embrace the truth of who I am.

Stepping into the Divine Light, I honor all that has come before me and all that is yet to come.  My world is what it is because I have lived a life that is directed and designed in perfect ways.  Every experience, every choice, has been inspired by a Universe that knows only good for me.  I forgive, I heal and I move on, letting it all go and moving to the next opportunity to be a loving presence on this planet.  Affirming that I am deserving and worthy of happiness, of joy, and of peace, I allow God to prosper me in ways that are better than I can even imagine.

Claiming the perfection of this moment, I give thanks for being guided by the Universe as I travel my path.  And I am grateful that each step I take is clearly intuited as I tap into Source Energy.  I am so thankful for Divine Grace and the knowing that I am loved.

Releasing my Word to the Divine Action of the Law, I breathe in and breathe out as a peace descends in the knowing that my prayer is already answered - that no more need be said and I can let go and let God.  And I let it be so.  And so it is!