Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Jealousy

Jealousy.  For me, it's a feeling like the green-eyed monster has sucker-punched me in the gut.  And - that's what I'm experiencing right now.

What I can't figure out is where this jealousy is coming from.  What I do know is that I have felt less than successful in my work life.  Currently, I'm working part-time handling marketing for a small business.  The business is doing well and is continuing to expand.  I'm longing to be part of the expansion and contribute to its growing success.

What I also know is that my boss is looking for someone to take over a piece of marketing that I thought was an area I could handle.  To be fair, it's a new marketing skill and I would have a learning curve, however, I was ready to find a good mentor and cultivate my weak areas.

I had embraced this new position and ideas were running through my head, just waiting for the go-ahead.  Then, today, the search for the 'someone else' was moved up and I likely have 6-months until my role is reduced.

As I look at it, I believe I might be jealous of this new person who is not even a reality yet.  So, what do I do with that?  Is this somehow a sacred learning moment that I'm totally missing?

When I ask this question of the Universe, the answer that springs from within is to use this to create my own version of becoming a success in marketing.  That might be in my current role with my current boss or that might lead me to something completely new.

So, I feel mad.  And, I feel confused.  But, most of all, a feeling of uncertainty overtakes me.

Is this really the direction I want to take my career?

Is this something I can be great at?

What am I going to have to sacrifice to follow this path?

At this point - in the uncertainty - it seems I am being called to trust the process.  To sit and imagine and dream what success in this role would look like.  To take action steps and embrace the journey.  To be okay with the fear of failure and remain open to receiving guidance from Life.

And, in this moment of small revelations, I place my faith in the knowing that Life wants me to be successful.  So, I gather my courage and decide that I'm willing....

So, what area of YOUR life are you feeling uncertain or jealous or fearful?  And how can you use that to create something even better than you can imagine?

Today, I set the intention to acknowledge the feeling of jealousy and use it to help me create my own version of a successful life.


"Fear is the insidious belief that there is something that God cannot do or 
does not know.  Fear not!  No matter what you are experiencing, you
 cannot lose because help is on the way." 
~Iyanla Vanzant

"Listen - are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?"  
~Mary Oliver


Affirmative prayer:
Turning within, there is the recognition of Spirit at the center of all that is.  It is joy and peace in the stillness of this moment.  It is the Infinite Presence of Source that is everywhere, always, just as the sun rises and sets each day; a Presence that is guiding, guarding, protecting and directing.

I am one with this Infinite Presence that I call God.  There is nothing I experience that is not touched by the rays of peace and joy as they surround me, moving through me and as me.

Staying in the stillness and the pure feeling of love, I release any heaviness in my heart, any confusion and need to figure things out.  Instead, I welcome the strength that reminds me that success is my Divine birthright.  I say Yes! to success and affirm that the greatest version of me is still to come.  And in this knowing, happiness exudes from me as I allow myself to receive only the best Life is offering.

I give thanks for the Infinite Wisdom that shows me my good, each and every day.  I say Thank You, Spirit, as I share my gifts and talents and see the blessings flowing as effortlessly as water flows to the stream.  And I am grateful that I can follow my heart and see that my journey here is beautiful.

Rejoicing in these blessings, I release my word to the Divine Action of the Law, knowing it is already done.  My good is right here, right now.  And I let it be so.  And so it is.


Photo courtesy of Kris Williams/Flickr