I like being able to escape to my hotel room and just chill. I like being able to take as long as I like in the bathroom and not worry about what others will think.
What's really a challenge for me is that Kevin has a good time staying with others. He's social and can easily relax where ever he's at. It's something I've been a little envious of at times. How can I deny him the opportunity for something that brings him such joy and yet, remain true to honoring my feelings?
I find myself balancing between nervousness of a new situation, resentment that I won't have my own room, and excitement to spend time with good friends.
What I've decided is that I can release the "where" we stay and just voice "how" I'd like to spend my time.
If I'd like to make a Starbucks run for coffee, I have the freedom to let others know and offer to bring them something back. If I'd like to go to bed earlier than the group, I can just explain that I'm tired and head off for some sleep.
I don't have to always be a "Yes" person, it's okay for me to say "No, thanks."
And, I know that Kevin and our friends would be absolutely okay with it.
I am anticipating responses that I am fearful of. The others will be hurt if I don't want to take part in everything they do. The others will be upset if I go to bed early.
But, what if all they said was "See you in the morning". What if nobody hated me for doing my own thing?
So, today I set the intention to be secure in stating my desires for the trip this weekend, lovingly voicing my opinion in ways the others can respect.
"The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves,
the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image."
"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."
Each night, as the stars light up the sky, there is a recognition of a Divine Power guiding the way. In every turn of the road, in every hillside path, this Power sheds wisdom and grace, acting as a compass for this journey that is life.
Leaning into and embracing the night sky, I know this Power also moves through me, watching over me and expressing as me. No mountain is to high and no river is too deep. I am loved beyond measure by a Source that knows only good and leads me with stunning clarity into that which is for my highest and best.
Trusting in this good, I need only look within to honor my soul and what It is feeling in each moment. I need only listen to the still small voice to realize that I am exactly where I should be in each moment. My friendships are filled with beautiful moments of sharing and I am supported in the choices I make as part of these friendships. I can feel the joy in my relationship with my husband and we share good times and connect to ourselves and others in ways that are insightful. There is such abundance in friendships and sharing special times. And these times are filled with a Spirit that sings over each one of us during this time. It is magnificent to be a part of the expansion of the Universe in such amazing ways!
I am so thankful for the experiences that bring me closer to seeing the truth of who I am. And I am grateful that I can lean into each situation, each opportunity, feeling the fullness of love and harmony and joy that resonates throughout each person I meet along the way.
And it is from this place of gratitude that I release my Word to the Divine Action of the Law, knowing it is already done, that I am nudged onto the path that is all for my best. And I let it be so. And so it is. Amen.