It was almost as if I was tip-toeing around the real issue behind the disappointment. So I had to take a hard look at the emotions that showed up. One of the repeating patterns that I would go to over and over and over again was blame.
If I was frustrated with a project at work, I would blame the others on the team for their lack of commitment to success.
When I was locked out of the house recently and had to walk about 15 minutes on a foot that was injured, I blamed the other person for being so thoughtless.
And, when a cabinet was delivered to our new home today, I expected it to be a beautiful white wood cabinet with drawers. Instead, it was a metal behemoth that takes away from the energy in what I hoped would be a warm and welcoming meditation room.
As I started to turn to blame my husband, Kevin, for not clearly explaining exactly what we were ordering, it hit me that here was an opportunity to create a new normal. So, rather than blame, I opened up to the possibility of a different response.
Rev. Mark Anthony Lord spoke at our Center for Spiritual Living in San Jose this Sunday and, as I made that choice to be open, I heard his voice in my head saying; "Feel the disappointment and forgive. Feel the sadness and forgive. Feel the hopelessness and forgive."
In that moment, instead of blaming, and instead of looking for the positive in the metal cabinet that showed up, I stayed in the feelings of disappointment, and I practiced forgiveness - of Kevin AND of myself.
I was also culpable in the choosing of an office cabinet. I needed forgiveness as much as anyone for not looking more closely at what I had agreed to purchase.
It took some time and some work, but through this new practice, I can see a release of my old pattern of blame and the stirrings of a new pattern of forgiveness.
The really exciting part of this revelation for me is now looking for the evidence of how the Universe will rise up to support me. What am I here to learn about this process of forgiveness? It's a question that is leading me on a new path, an even better path, to a life filled with awe and wonder.
Today, I set the intention to let go of my old pattern of blame and to call on the support of the Universe by practicing forgiveness, remaining open to receiving the ever-increasing good that comes from life-affirming practices.
"Your life is the fruit of your own doing.
You have no one to blame but yourself."
"True forgiveness is not an action after the fact,
it is an attitude with which you enter each moment."
Taking a breath and turning within, this new day is filled with the goodness of the One Creative Life. It is the Divine Presence of Love that showers all with grace and abundance and joy and happiness. It is heard in the singing of the birds as they build their nests. It is seen in the brilliance of the sun that streams through the window.
I look at this new day with the fresh eyes of God in me and through me, seeing the holiness in every person, in every creature, that shares this Universe with me. I am filled with the amazing potential of sweet Spirit within, creating a day that sees the diamonds in the rough, that uncovers the pearl within the oyster, that witnesses the miracles of everyday life.
Taking this vision of limitless potential into my day, I let go of any feelings of blame that may surface. I plant the seeds of forgiveness and welcome the out-picturing of prosperity that is the result of releasing an old pattern that no longer serves me. I accept the blessings of healed relationships as I tune into the wisdom of knowing that I have the power to change my response to whatever this day will bring. And I affirm that I am patient and tolerant with myself and with others, seeing only the good that comes from making a choice to feel my emotions and to forgive.
I give thanks for the lessons that have brought me to this awareness that I have the power to choose how I respond. I am grateful that my day is filled with magnificence and possibility, simply because I am in that vibrational energy. And I say thank you, Sweet Spirit, for the good that is already mine as I see it and feel it in my soul.
Releasing my prayer to the Law of Mind, knowing it is already done, I stay in this energy of gratitude. God is all there is. And I am one with all that is. Amen. Alleluia. And so it is.
Photo courtesy of Ajari/Flickr