Wednesday, May 13, 2015

When Does A Mom Let Go?

With Mother's Day now come and gone, I've had a chance to appreciate how both of my daughters have developed into amazing young women.  Growing up, they seemed so different from each other but, as their relationship with each other changes and matures, they seem to enjoy each other's company and truly have each other's back.

As a mother it makes me proud, but I still feel like I walk the line between giving life advice and letting them chart their own course.  I see this especially with my 21-year-old and her challenges around finding a career she enjoys.

Looking back, as I first helped guide her toward employment, I might have been guilty of pushing her toward what I saw as her strengths rather than let her figure it out.

So, she tried a 4-year college with the intent of a nursing degree but that didn't work out.

Then, she got her cosmetology license because I saw her passion for working with make-up and was sure that was a perfect fit.  Turns out, it was not the right choice.

Now, she is finishing up her AA degree and focused on X-Ray tech school - something she has worked her way toward on her own.

At the same time, she is struggling to enjoy her current part-time job in retail.  And, here is where I enter the picture as a Mom again.  How involved do I get in directing her path?

What I've learned, and what my intuition is telling me, is that I need to let her do this one on her own.  That's not to say I won't give some basic guidance AFTER I've been asked, but I'm less likely to jump in and start spouting off instructions.

I mentioned it might be good to look around for something in the medical field as that is her current interest.  And, I let it drop.  Turns out, that's exactly what she is doing.

She reached out again because she's having a tough time since most places want previous medical experience.  So, I gave her another small piece of advice.  And, I let it drop.

I won't lie that it's been easy to step back and not jump in to 'protect' my daughter.  But, the more I become someone to just talk out loud with about the options, the more I see her grow and tackle the issues that challenge her.

What has really become clear is that, just as the Universe is guiding me when I surrender and follow my heart and intuition, the Universe is also reaching out to guide my daughter.  So, when I talk about stepping back from directing her life, I can feel confident that the Universe is stepping in and taking that spot....and doing a much better job than I could ever do.

Of course, I'm always available for a hug, as needed!

So, today, I set the intention to re-create my definition of being a Mom, giving my daughter the space to discover her life's purpose, knowing she is guided by the same Divine Power that directs my steps each day.


"My mother said to me, 'If you are a soldier, you will become a general; if you are a monk, 
you will become Pope.'  Instead I was a painter and became Picasso."  
~Pablo Picasso

"When nobody else celebrates you, learn to celebrate yourself.  
When nobody else compliments you, then compliment yourself.  
It's not up to other people to keep you encouraged.  It's up to you.  
Encouragement should come from the inside."  
~Joel Osteen


Affirmative Prayer:
In this moment, I close my eyes and surrender to the all-Good that I call God.  It is grace; beautiful and all-encompassing.  It is a Divine Power, forever shining as bright as the sun, unshakeable and strong in conviction.

This Divine Power that knows only love flows through me perfectly and completely.  I am a Divine Expression of the Infinite, seeing and hearing and tasting and touching with the delight and awe and wonder of Spirit.

Connecting completely to my higher self, I celebrate my Oneness with all things.  There is a fullness of Life that shows me how much I am loved and I affirm that there is opportunity for growth in all situations and circumstances.  I know this truth for my children too - that there is a sweet, sparkling Spirit that dances through their life, encouraging them to shoot for the moon, knowing that if they miss, they will still land among the stars.  I welcome the Divine Intelligence that argues for the depth of their potential, guiding them to reveal their unique and special gifts.  I embrace for myself and for my children the knowing that as we take the time to get clear on what we want, Spirit brings those ideas and dreams and visions to life in right and perfect ways.

With joy and peace, I give great thanks that as dreams are uncovered, the Universe guides my steps with purposeful action.  I am grateful for the good that is being revealed in my life.  And I am filled with gratitude that as I smile and share my joy, that joy is returned, filled with the Living Spirit that shows me we are truly One.

From this place of gratitude, I release my prayer to the Law of Mind, knowing that my word is a powerful force.  Love washes over me now.  And I let it be so.  And so it is.

Photo courtesy of Camdiluv/Flickr