Disrupting The Pattern Of Blame

Part of my spiritual journey has been learning to deal with disappointment.  When I hit an issue that left me feeling sad or frustrated or confused, I wouldn't complain but instead look for something positive in the situation.  But the emotions that were stirred by the situation would not always go away so easily.

It was almost as if I was tip-toeing around the real issue behind the disappointment. So I had to take a hard look at the emotions that showed up.  One of the repeating patterns that I would go to over and over and over again was blame.

If I was frustrated with a project at work, I would blame the others on the team for their lack of commitment to success.

When I was locked out of the house recently and had to walk about 15 minutes on a foot that was injured, I blamed the other person for being so thoughtless.

And, when a cabinet was delivered to our new home today, I expected it to be a beautiful white wood cabinet with drawers. Instead, it was a metal behemoth that takes away from the energy in what I hoped would be a warm and welcoming meditation room.

As I started to turn to blame my husband, Kevin, for not clearly explaining exactly what we were ordering, it hit me that here was an opportunity to create a new normal.  So, rather than blame, I opened up to the possibility of a different response.

Rev. Mark Anthony Lord spoke at our Center for Spiritual Living in San Jose this Sunday and, as I made that choice to be open, I heard his voice in my head saying;  "Feel the disappointment and forgive.  Feel the sadness and forgive.  Feel the hopelessness and forgive."

In that moment, instead of blaming, and instead of looking for the positive in the metal cabinet that showed up, I stayed in the feelings of disappointment, and I practiced forgiveness - of Kevin AND of myself.

I was also culpable in the choosing of an office cabinet.  I needed forgiveness as much as anyone for not looking more closely at what I had agreed to purchase.

It took some time and some work, but through this new practice, I can see a release of my old pattern of blame and the stirrings of a new pattern of forgiveness.

The really exciting part of this revelation for me is now looking for the evidence of how the Universe will rise up to support me.  What am I here to learn about this process of forgiveness?  It's a question that is leading me on a new path, an even better path, to a life filled with awe and wonder.

Today, I set the intention to let go of my old pattern of blame and to call on the support of the Universe by practicing forgiveness, remaining open to receiving the ever-increasing good that comes from life-affirming practices.

"Your life is the fruit of your own doing.  

You have no one to blame but yourself."  

~Joseph Campbell

"True forgiveness is not an action after the fact, 

it is an attitude with which you enter each moment."  
~David Ridge

Affirmative Prayer:
Taking a breath and turning within, this new day is filled with the goodness of the One Creative Life.  It is the Divine Presence of Love that showers all with grace and abundance and joy and happiness.  It is heard in the singing of the birds as they build their nests.  It is seen in the brilliance of the sun that streams through the window.

I look at this new day with the fresh eyes of God in me and through me, seeing the holiness in every person, in every creature, that shares this Universe with me.  I am filled with the amazing potential of sweet Spirit within, creating a day that sees the diamonds in the rough, that uncovers the pearl within the oyster, that witnesses the miracles of everyday life.

Taking this vision of limitless potential into my day, I let go of any feelings of blame that may surface.  I plant the seeds of forgiveness and welcome the out-picturing of prosperity that is the result of releasing an old pattern that no longer serves me.  I accept the blessings of healed relationships as I tune into the wisdom of knowing that I have the power to change my response to whatever this day will bring.  And I affirm that I am patient and tolerant with myself and with others, seeing only the good that comes from making a choice to feel my emotions and to forgive.

I give thanks for the lessons that have brought me to this awareness that I have the power to choose how I respond. I am grateful that my day is filled with magnificence and possibility, simply because I am in that vibrational energy.  And I say thank you, Sweet Spirit, for the good that is already mine as I see it and feel it in my soul.

Releasing my prayer to the Law of Mind, knowing it is already done, I stay in this energy of gratitude.  God is all there is.  And I am one with all that is.  Amen.  Alleluia.  And so it is.

Photo courtesy of Ajari/Flickr

Seeing Your Value

We just got one step closer to owning our own home today.  We are officially pre-qualified and have placed a hold on a town-home we love.  Very exciting!

Immediately, of course, I start to think about where all of my things will go - the couch, the bedroom dressers, the fish.  I can absolutely see it BUT my mind also starts churning with plans to replace my older, well-used things.  What I'd really like to do is replace the old 'stuff' with new furnishings (well, except for the fish).

And, as I start to browse Ikea and Target, I just as quickly see my sometimes out-of-control spending habits rearing their head.  I realize that rather than rush out and buy things for the new home just for the sake of having new things won't work for me this time.

This time around, I'd rather spend a small bit more BUT get quality items (not that Ikea or Target are not quality).

I'd love to have a soft leather sofa and comfortable reclining chair in the new living room versus a cheaper fabric couch and love-seat.

I'd love to invest in a nice set of bedroom furniture that is sturdy, holds a lot, AND looks attractive.

I'd love to have window dressings that are effective at keeping out the light, when needed, and accent the various rooms versus an inexpensive curtain that I will likely have to replace within the year.

So, where is the spiritual lesson in all of this?  I realized that when I value myself, it shows in the choices I make.  I can take some extra time and money and decorate my new home with the right mix of quality furniture and window dressings and decorative accents.

I don't have to rush out and spend money on things I won't really enjoy down the line or on things that will fall apart six months into it.  It's so different for me to feel this way.  And I'm embracing it.

Maybe I'm finally starting to see the bigger picture....

Today, I set the intention to see that I am valued beyond measure and deserving of that which calls to my soul.

So where are YOU rushing into choices that may reflect your thoughts of lack and unworthiness?

"Believe in yourself and all that you are.  Know that there is 

something inside you that is greater than any obstacle."  

~Christian D. Larson

"Your sacred space is where you find yourself over and over again." 

~Joseph Campbell

Affirmative Prayer:
In this moment is the realization that there is a place where heaven meets Earth.  It is a powerful Infinite Intelligence; rich and beautiful, rising up from within; always available - always present.

I am surrounded in love by this Infinite Intelligence like a precious jewel.  A Divine Presence moves through me, reconnecting me to hope, reminding me that I shine brighter than the stars.  I am powerful.  I am courageous.

Knowing I am a co-creator with this Presence, I get quiet and listen to where I am being guided.  I imagine and dream and the Universe shows me how to make a way from where no way existed before.  My life expands beyond anything I have known before; abundant and rich in health, in wealth and in happiness.  I speak my word from a place of joy and Spirit makes it so.  I let go of any difficulties that may come from buying a new home and I welcome the overflow of prosperity that allows me to buy wonderful, amazing furnishings for my new home.  I can easily afford that which calls to my heart's desire.  And there is no need to rush - it all happens in perfect, Divine timing.

I am filled with gratitude for the guidance of Spirit in all things.  I am thankful that I see my value in this world and it is reflected back to me in everyday miracles and blessings.  And I am grateful that I only need speak my word and the Universe answers back, Yes!

I release this prayer to the Law of Mind, knowing it is done and I am changed for the better.  I am limitless.  And I let it be so.  And so it is.

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons

Why Judgement Has A Boldness To It

Rueful choices.  Complicated situations.  Words I wish I could take back.  I've survived them all.  It's fascinating at how accepting I am becoming of myself when I look back at the choices, words & situations that turned out less than perfect.

I no longer run away from those moments because, really, everything is all right.  I can relax and stop worrying.  I can quit being so hard on myself.

And the simple act of self-acceptance has freed me to make bolder choices, knowing that I can ask for forgiveness if my choice unintentionally hurt someone.

It's opened me up taking risks, knowing that I can always start over if I fail.

It's allowed me to make a mess of what I say, knowing that there is a lesson in the mess I now feel called to clean up.

It's the never-ending story of judgement.  And, what I'm realizing is that it's okay to have judgement.  Because the lesson I'm now seeing in judgement is that as I clean up my mess, I have bonded more deeply with people I care about.  And as I dig myself out of failure, I fall more deeply in love with the passions that drive me to try again.

There is a wisdom that comes from experiencing each moment, even the things that we judge wrong or hurtful or as weakness.

And all the time there is a recognition that the Universe is always there to pick me up and brush me off.   It is telling me that if I don't experience life because I am worried about making a mistake, I will likely not get another chance to experience it later.

So, I'm opening up and I'm owning all of it.

What about you?  Can you accept ALL of who you are, even your blunders and messy situations?

Today, I set the intention to celebrate the revelations that come from living a life true to who I am as I strive for authenticity and self-acceptance in all things.

"We're so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget

 the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it is all about."  

~Joseph Campbell

"The experience of eternity right here and now is the function of life.  Heaven is not

 the place to have the experience; here is the place to have the experience."  

~Joseph Campbell

Affirmative Prayer:
Beyond time and space, there is a field of infinite possibilities.  There is no beginning and no end.  There is only a Divine Presence that is love.  It is a Creative Wisdom contained in the sounds that are heard and in the silence.  And, it is a Divine Power that is the essence of a breath and the unceasing heartbeat in every creature, great and small.

My nature is that of this Divine Presence that is in every aspect and situation of my life.  It is the creative force of the Universe that is always present within me and all around me.  It is present in every thought, every action and every feeling that I have.  And I am made new in each moment as who I am expands with every experience I have each day.

Remembering this truth, I am lifted up and I am blessed simply for having the courage to try new things.  I am fully supported as I make choices and lean into situations that speak to my soul.  I am making a contribution to all of planet Earth as my path leads me on encounters that are Divinely guided and directed.  Having faith that Spirit is always present, I celebrate with a heart wide-open and affirm that my conversations with others and my actions allow blessings to move through me.  I let go of judgement and consciously choose a life of authenticity and self-expression.

For all of this and more, I am deeply grateful.  I am filled with gratitude that Spirit is present in every situation and circumstance.  And I am thankful that my life experiences reveal my true nature - a spiritual being having a human experience, an expression of joy and love.

In trust and faith, I release my word to the Divine Action of the Law, knowing it is perfect and knowing it is already done.  I smile in happiness as I let it be so.  And so it is.

Photo courtesy of Meg Wills/Flickr

Creation, Reflection, Progress and Courage

Wednesday's The August Break photo prompt was "Reflection".  Of course, I went for the obvious and took a picture of my dog, Cody, and his reflection in the mirror.  The prompt also had me reflecting on life and particularly, how beautifully my life is flowing right now.

At the same time, in Creative Thought magazine, Rev. Veronica Wright talked about how we can make our life our business.  She recommended that "at regular intervals it is wise to look back at our lives to review, to evaluate, to see what we have accomplished, and how we have progressed."

She suggests that "sometimes, the quality of our life we want doesn't seem to show up, no matter how hard we work to 'earn' it.  This might be so because the Universe does not compensate us based upon the activity of our work, but on the activity of our thinking, on the activity of our consciousness."

If we make the time to do a review and reflect, we can then see the changes (or the lack of progress) we've made.  Then, it becomes a great opportunity for a course correction if we're not happy with what we see.

What I noticed during my reflection is that I didn't really have a super clear vision for how I want my life to look.  I did write a sort-of script for how my ideal morning would flow and I'm certain that has driven some of what I have manifested.  (I attribute that to Jennifer Grace's book, Directing Your Destiny).

I also noticed there are days that I still feel a little lost tho' and I blame that on the push to have a "9 to 5 job" and a "steady stream of income".  I'm often asked by others what I do for work and I haven't quite figured out the best answer to that question so it usually comes out as "um, ah, well, I'm on sabbatical right now."

And the conversation stops.

But - I'm not uncomfortable with their response....and that's completely different from how I would have felt a few years ago.  So how did I make the change?  I believe it's because I have been doing the internal work and purposefully setting intentions for what I'd like to create.

I have been taking control of my thinking and not settling for the old patterns stuck in my subconscious mind. 

So where did I see progress?

1. I no longer need the approval of other people.  I am the only one responsible for my life.  Keep in mind, that's different from the support of others - friends, family, a mentor - when you need a little help or just a sounding board.

However, I am really the only one who knows what fuels me, what makes me get out of bed in the morning, and what lets me sleep like a baby at night.  And staying true to that vision has let me release the need to feel guilty or ashamed when others don't agree with my choices.

2.  I'm allowing others to be themselves.  My biggest challenge, although I love my husband, is that there are certain things I'd like to change about him.  I have to believe we all feel that to a certain extent.  What I'm clear on now is the things I wanted to change are really issues inside of me that I wanted to improve on or didn't really like.

My husband was the perfect reflection back for the areas I needed to clean up in my life.  Now that I'm being mindful of those things, I no longer feel I need to change him.  I'm much more accepting and loving and, as a result, our relationship is thriving.

3.  I am more open to sharing my spirituality.  I have been fed and fueled by so many inspirational leaders - Louise Hay, Michael Bernard Beckwith, Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer.  And on Sundays, it's easy to be in conversation about Spirit and a Divine Source and offering affirmative prayer.  It was much more challenging to weave it into my everyday conversations with friends and family.  I was hesitant and slightly embarrassed about how they would react.

But, as I see things like mindfulness become mainstream, and as I have become better at the language around spirituality that I'm comfortable with, the easier it is for me to lay it all out.  I don't have to preach, there's no one to 'save', and it's not about religious choices.   The conversation is about the wisdom of choice, my belief that thoughts become things, and that the Universe is always conspiring for our good.

I am getting better at understanding myself and accepting of myself.  When I am challenged, I no longer need to defend why I do things.  I don't lash out.  And I don't shout.  More and more, I flow through life with grace and ease and a sense of humor.

That's the quality of life I want to show up - every day!

So, if you reflected on the last year of your life, what are the changes you'd notice the most?

Today, I set the intention to make time to reflect on my life, noticing my progress and having courage to make adjustments as needed.

"People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life.  I don't think 

that's what we're really seeking.  I think that what we're seeking is an experience

 of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have

 resonances with our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually

 feel the rapture of being alive."  

~Joseph Campbell

"Placing the blame or judgement on someone else leaves you powerless

 to change your experience; taking responsibility for your beliefs

 and judgements gives you the power to change them."  

~Byron Katie

Affirmative Prayer:
In the space between thoughts and the stillness, there is the One Divine Source.  It is a Creative Life that ripples through the water, clear and vibrant and always available.  It is an Infinite Allness of perfection and love, of harmony and grace.  It is a sacred shelter that provides safety and peace in any moment of the day.

Opening my heart to this shelter, I allow the Divine Creator to move within me and to express love and perfection through me.   In the sacred now, Divine Spirit has Its being as me, ever-expanding Its consciousness as the uniqueness that is Sandy.

With a sense of appreciation and awe, I embrace my alive-ness, celebrating my relationships and my finances and my health.  I release all doubt and affirm that my quality of life gets better and better each day as I keep my thoughts focused on what I want to create.   As I share this experience of humanity with others, the vibrant possibilities for life are reflected back in beautiful ways.  And I rejoice in the new beginnings that hold the potential for even greater good than I can imagine to be made manifest.  I am free to be who I am here to be, never separate from the Divine Source that says I am enough, just as I am.

Accepting the perfection of life as mine now, I am thankful for the blessings that rain down on me all the time.  In deepest gratitude, I see the possibilities unfolding as I stay the course.  And I give thanks that my good shows up so quickly and so effortlessly, just as I have envisioned.

Aligning with Spirit, I open at the top and release my word to the Divine Action of the Law, knowing it is already done.  My highest and greatest good is here now.  I let it be so and live my life fully.  And so it is.

Photo courtesy of Scott Swigart/Flickr